Two of the big things people look for in leaders are: do they have the ability, skills, and strength to lead us where we’re going, and will they care about, respect, and connect with us while we get there? Showing up strong and competent is crucial. Leaders need to be confident in their expertise and ideas. But without warmth, openness, and connection, confidence becomes arrogance and limits leadership effectiveness.
Exude Competence::Exude Warmth is about what leaders demonstrate or portray. Effective leaders show up strong and assured while also demonstrating humility and finding ways to connect. The importance of demonstrating expertise is matched by the importance of expressing approachability and empathy. This Both/And approach to navigating polarities allows leaders to lead with confidence and connection at the same time. It’s one of those rare leadership capabilities that improves almost every interaction a leader has, making it another double-dip: a skill that strengthens trust and influence generally while also helping leaders create the conditions needed for complexity.
How Does it Help with Complexity?
Thinking you have all the answers in a complex situation is a fool’s errand. And leaders who show up as if they do look foolish over time. Complexity is about the unknown. No single person has all the answers—if they do, it’s not complex. But at the same time, people need to know their leader has what it takes to lead them through the situation. They might not know the answers, but leaders should ask the right kinds of questions and inspire us to work in ways to find them.
Part of that inspiration comes from leaders being humble enough to invite, listen, and respect other voices and opinions. Complexity requires leaders to ask more than tell and to be open to push back and questions when they do. Not knowing can be daunting for people. Especially if it means we might not get the outcome we desire. To keep moving, people need the confidence that they’ll be cared for in spite of potential setbacks and that our connection will ready us to tackle whatever comes next.
Exude Competence—Benefits and Overuses
Leaders are expected to know what they’re doing. Exuding Competence demonstrates expertise, mastery, and reliability. It inspires confidence and trust in a leader’s decisions, plan of execution, and ability to handle the unexpected. But when leaders lean too heavily into demonstrating their competence, they can dominate conversations, disregard other opinions, and demand things go their way. Over time, this apparent arrogance can create resentment, disengagement, and withholding of information, with some even hoping for things to go wrong so the leader will be blamed or exposed.
Exude Warmth—Benefits and Overuses
When leaders Exude Warmth, they show up with humility, openness, and an interest in what others bring to the table. This creates an environment where people feel respected for their contribution, safe to raise different opinions, and connected to the solutions. But as with all polarities, it’s easy to take it too far. When leaders exude warmth to the neglect of displaying their competence or strength, people can begin to doubt their expertise and see them as out of touch, disengaged, and not up for the challenge the situation demands. This erodes trust and confidence, creating undue stress as the team worries about their overall success.
Neither pole works in isolation. Warmth needs the grounding of competence to create real trust, and competence needs warmth to create the connection needed for real progress. Leaders must hold both together to be successful over time, but also to create the conditions for their teams to thrive amidst complexity.
Creating the Conditions with Both/And Leadership
To navigate complex situations, the conditions need to exist for all parts of the team to connect and feel able to bring their perspective to the table—while also having confidence their leader can help harness the collective wisdom to advance the goal. There is humility, lightness, and grace on the team as everyone, including the leader, adapts, learns, and adjusts the plan and their thinking.
This doesn’t happen if the leader is not navigating Exude Competence::Exude Warmth with Both/And Leadership Capability. Only then can they build the trust that is both relational and authoritative needed for complexity.
But this typically requires leaders to understand their natural preference within this polarity and expand their range of possible approaches. Under pressure, many leaders default toward either projecting expertise or leaning into humility and openness. Developing the capacity to navigate polarities with Both/And thinking is what allows leaders to stay both credible and human to create the conditions described above.
The Key Polarity Indicator makes these preferences visible and gives leaders a practical leadership development tool for navigating the Exude Competence::Exude Warmth polarity with greater trust and impact.
Ways to Create the Conditions with Competence::Warmth
Here are three simple practices to help portray a blend of Competence and Warmth so they strengthen each other and create the conditions needed to lead in complexity.
Make Warmth Visible in Competence
Make openness part of demonstrating expertise, not something separate. When making decisions or giving direction, genuinely invite input and counter views. You can get their input first, “I have some ideas, but want to hear your thinking to broaden my perspective” (note genuinely is italicized in the previous sentence!). But occasionally, at least, you need to share your ideas and allow your thinking to be expanded. Start with, “I have some ideas, but really want your thoughts…” After sharing, ask something like, “What do you think I’m missing?,” “What’s another way to look at it?,” or “Who else’s perspective should we get?”
Lead the Process, Not the Solution
In complex situations, leaders don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. They need to be the person who helps the room think. They need to exude competence in leading the process, not in having the answers to implement. Do this by explicitly sharing some of the complexity principles you’ll be leading by. Keep them simple, e.g., “No one person has the solution;” “Taking the next best step;” “Experiment and adjust;” etc. to show you have a way to lead through this complex situation that might look different than your leadership in other situations. And model openness from the outset. Acknowledge that while your experience will help, you don’t have all the answers and will need constant input as you learn together.
Don’t Hide Behind Consensus.
Complexity requires many perspectives to ascertain the best approaches and plans, often leading to collaborative approaches and decisions. However, “collaborative decisions” doesn’t always mean “consensus,” and shouldn’t lead to paralysis or watered down compromise instead of the synergies they’re meant to create. Be clear on your decision-making process for each step along the way. As the leader, state from the outset the decision process and timing for moving forward. When using consensus, state a time and fallback method if consensus can’t be reached, e.g. “If we haven’t decided by Thursday, I’ll take everything into account and then make the call.”
These are just some of the Both/And Leadership practices leaders in our leadership development programs use to help create the conditions for teams to thrive in complexity. They instill confidence while creating openness by being humble enough to know they lead the team; they aren’t the team.
Be Confident, and Humble, Enough to Expand
Showing up with the right balance of Competence and Warmth isn’t always easy, especially when the pressure of complex situations tempts us to lean into our default. Knowing, and then managing, our natural preference for a pole is essential to Both/And Leadership.
Preference for Competence? Ask and listen more than you tell and explain. This general rule goes beyond complexity and is definitely a double-dip. If needed, keep a running tally of the number of questions you ask in the corner of your meeting notes and work to tip the scales over time. Expertise in complexity is demonstrated by asking the right kinds of questions and integrating the responses, not working to convince others you have all the answers.
Preference for Warmth? Don’t disappear. It can be tempting to downplay your expertise or airtime to involve others. But remember, complexity is unsettling and people need you to bolster their confidence by putting your voice on the table when it’s needed. Let people know when you feel strongly about something and aren’t necessarily open to influence. It’s OK and, when not overused, instills needed confidence on the team.
Read about the Key Leadership Polarities in the Complexity Series:
Posted In: Complexity Series